Living with Passion (Not just going through the motions)

Okay, ten years ago before I decided to follow Christ, (i.e. become a Christian, get saved, whatever...), I absolutely lived my life by going through the motions. You know, doing what you're "supposed" to do: get up, go to class, go to work, go out with friends (to clubs, etc), come home, go to bed, start over tomorrow. Often, my routine was dictated by what was popular or something I read in a magazine, saw on tv, blah-blah. I never really got excited about anything. I never really put myself out there. The jobs I had were one's that I kind of fell into or just took the first thing I found. Don't get me wrong, I had a few standards and a few rules to keep me safe and generally upstanding. But, I didn't have any real passion for anything or a drive to be or do anything than what was expected.

I am naturally one of those people that can see both sides of the story. So, for me to get excited about something has to be a big deal. I used that as a reason to keep from taking any real risk- To limit the plans I made for myself. I tried to avoid being/getting hurt, disappointed, etc. I wanted to avoid rocking the boat too much. But, the problem with that is by avoiding the "bad" stuff, I minimized the great things, too. I was basically numb to anything. I knew how to have fun and be fun, but I did not know how to enjoy life. Great love, great jobs, great opportunities do not come without the risk of a huge let down. We can go through life avoiding the things that will cause rifts, or we can face them, grow stronger, try again and live wonderfully, passionately and hopefully!!

See, my life changed dramatically when I started hoping and wishing for bigger things. I started praying for big changes. I didn't even know if it would make a difference or if anybody was listening. I asked for little things at first: Getting a great office job in my field of study (at the time: accounting), getting free tickets to a concert to see my favorite singer (had never been to one before). Then, bigger things: Friends who didn't think going to a club was the best thing in the world. To know that I could have a good relationship without sex. Finally, I started asking for the ultimite life experience: TRUE LOVE.

First, I thought I found it in a man, but can you believe it? He let me down. In the midst of that letdown, though, I fell into the arms of Christ [God is Love]. I gave up trying to control everything around me and accepted the redemption He offered. He gave me the freedom to be free to be me; to not be what my past (or others) said I should be. To take a risk and change my major in the middle of my junior year (from accounting to counseling, lost 45 hours), to apply and get accepted to grad school, to lead and teach a youth group (be a leader and role model to others); to turn a man and a relationship down that I knew could be good (and found one that will hopefully last a lifetime).

To live a life of passion is to know that you can pass up for (or be passed up for) what you think could be okay, to chase after or be led to something way more than you could ever have known existed. It is the freedom to risk losing your pride and status for an opportunity you may not even get. It is the ability to hang onto hope when nothing seems to be going the way you thought it would (because what you thought may be less than what could be anyway). Contrary to popular opinion, some things are worth dying for; but even more things are worth living for!

Live what you believe. Be okay with rocking the boat and changing the status quo. Don't just live up to the expectations of others. Seriously, if I became the status quo person, I don't know that I would be alive today, and I certainly would not be happy or know true JOY!. Be more than you ever hoped you could! Be willing to dream and be Passionate!

P.S. If you wanna know about life lists, my friend (kimsmotormouth.blogspot.com) wrote about it yesterday, so read her blog and start there.