Moving to Tahiti

Okay, so how do you live with a man disappointed? I have heard of a woman scorned, but really, a man disappointed is no picnic either. Grump-o-lumpogus! That's another word for it. Okay, I don't guess I understand the impact certain things have on a man (vs. a woman), even though I have lived with one for at least 5 1/2 years. For the record, though, I do recognize this is a bigger deal than most disappointments.

Here's the story. Robert, my husband, is a born teacher/lecturer. Seriously, at some point during most of our conversations I have to remind him: "Okay, I am not a student, this is not a lecture and conversation is a two way street." Needless to say, he loves to instruct! So, when we found out Baylor was looking for a lighting designer/professor, I insisted that he apply. Okay, Baylor is a big school and he did not think it was worth the time since he doesn't actually have experience teaching at the college level. Still, he's good. So, I encouraged him and he surrendered. In goes the resume, transcripts, references, etc. Nothing more is thought about it until we get a phone call: "Congratulations! Your on the short list." "What? Wait, I'm actually being considered? Why?"

Well, the conversation did not exactly go like that, but it did start like that and Robert did ask me that afterwards. So all that culminated in a two-day interview two weeks ago at Baylor. And this was NOT an ordinary interview. No, he met with a Search Committee, taught a class, had dinner with the Department Chair, lunch with students, and went before the Provost and a few other "big wigs." It was tough, but he did well. Not that I'm bragging or biased, but you know when someone does well and they know it. He really did well! All that to find out yesterday, they chose "the other guy."

To be fair, the other guy was really the Interim person already in the position and we believe the whole search thing was a formality anyway, but darn it! We cared and We wanted this job!

Now, we are people of faith and believe the Lord has good things in store for us and gives us the desires of our hearts, but sometimes its hard to have faith when you think this is the job of our dreams and its being pulled out from under us at the last minute! Darn it!

So, I understand the disappointment. I do. I'm even disappointed myself (which is what makes the whole thing harder). But, I'm a little different. I tend to handle these things by looking for other opportunities and thinking what a terrible experience, but surely there is better...Right? My husband tends to dwell and rehash. He wants to figure out what he did that wasn't good enough. That is hard to live with. Mostly, because I know he did really well and did the best he could. He made it a hard decision for them and that is saying something. When it comes down to it, the difference between Robert and the "Other guy" was basically "theKnown" vs. "the Unknown." What can you do about that?

So, today when I was trying to sneak out the door without waking up the baby (oh, and I couldn't find my toothbrush, the dog didn't want to walk out-just be carried, and...) the baby still woke up. Mr. Grump-o-lumpogus decides he wants to stay in bed rather than walk me out. [Explanation needed: Alex is 1 1/2 y.o. and still suffering a little of the separation anxiety that comes with having mommy out of his life and gone over 8 hours a day for the first time ever. If he can get up and wave goodbye, he'll be fine; if not...].

So, I love my husband and think he is one of the greatest men on the planet (that's why I married him), but today I would rather be in Tahiti on a beach relaxing with my little umbrella drink:) and palm trees swaying overhead!